Salem, Mass. —
“The field of empty promises grows with each passing year.”
Empty promises were made to me during my first marriage as a young woman in my early 20s. I promise to never verbally attack you again, I promise to never hit you again, I promise we will be a real family again, I promise your daughter will never be in fear of being left alone with me again.
Promises, promises and more promises that became empty and grew more and more frequent as I held to the belief of trying to keep my marriage and my family intact. A belief that eventually would subside as the promises made to me developed into just words that had no meaning to them at all. Promises and words with no meaning have had an impact upon woman throughout history; a history with a long track record.
Victims stay in an abusive relationship because they blame themselves for the abuse, they are afraid to make any type of change in their life, they may not have the financial means or resources to leave the abuser, there is a mixture of good times and hope that things will change, and the victim believes it is a way of life since they themselves witnessed a parent being abused in their own childhood. Also, children of abused parents can also become the future abusers themselves.
On May 1, more than 1,000 people will walk a five-mile trek in order to raise money or awareness for domestic violence in the 19th annual Walk for HAWC. The organization’s name was changed from Help for Abused Woman and Children to Healing Abuse Working for Change. I like the new name and I believe it is a reflection of a society of violence that carries no gender.
As a woman who witnessed abuse as a growing girl, as a sister who had five brothers and witnessed falsification, as a wife who was abused, as a mother who finally left my first husband when his abuse spilled over to my daughter and then to our son — and it is court documented — I pray the “field of empty promises” does not continue to grow for anyone. I pray the possibility of a new life is knowledge that others will achieve through programs such as HAWC.
For more information, visit hawcdv.org or search the state’s website, mass.gov. Details about the Walk for HAWC are also on Facebook at facebook.com/event.php?eid=130104153724430&ref=ts.
Empty promises were made to me during my first marriage as a young woman in my early 20s. I promise to never verbally attack you again, I promise to never hit you again, I promise we will be a real family again, I promise your daughter will never be in fear of being left alone with me again.
Promises, promises and more promises that became empty and grew more and more frequent as I held to the belief of trying to keep my marriage and my family intact. A belief that eventually would subside as the promises made to me developed into just words that had no meaning to them at all. Promises and words with no meaning have had an impact upon woman throughout history; a history with a long track record.
Victims stay in an abusive relationship because they blame themselves for the abuse, they are afraid to make any type of change in their life, they may not have the financial means or resources to leave the abuser, there is a mixture of good times and hope that things will change, and the victim believes it is a way of life since they themselves witnessed a parent being abused in their own childhood. Also, children of abused parents can also become the future abusers themselves.
On May 1, more than 1,000 people will walk a five-mile trek in order to raise money or awareness for domestic violence in the 19th annual Walk for HAWC. The organization’s name was changed from Help for Abused Woman and Children to Healing Abuse Working for Change. I like the new name and I believe it is a reflection of a society of violence that carries no gender.
As a woman who witnessed abuse as a growing girl, as a sister who had five brothers and witnessed falsification, as a wife who was abused, as a mother who finally left my first husband when his abuse spilled over to my daughter and then to our son — and it is court documented — I pray the “field of empty promises” does not continue to grow for anyone. I pray the possibility of a new life is knowledge that others will achieve through programs such as HAWC.
For more information, visit hawcdv.org or search the state’s website, mass.gov. Details about the Walk for HAWC are also on Facebook at facebook.com/event.php?eid=130104153724430&ref=ts.
Lenore Graber I read it and liked it...very informative and well written!
ReplyDeleteMayor Kim Driscoll Tammy, thanks for posting your fundraising events and for the work you do bringing attention to domestic violence and ways we can curb this type of abuse. I, too, am an advocate for domestic violence support programs and partake in as many fundraising events for worthy causes in our community. Just wanted you to know that your posts are not ignored. Best, Kim
ReplyDeleteHillary Coughlin I am a fan of yours on Facebook after reading your article on domestic abuse on wicked local. I am on the committee for the Walk for HAWC, have worked as a women's counselor at Pine Street Inn, and am an advocate for women's rights. I respect your written work
ReplyDeleteHard to believe two months have gone by since we all gathered at Old Town Hall, and since then donations for teams have continued to roll in to the HAWC office through June. That being said, we have finally been able to tally team totals and would like to share the top five teams from this year’s walk:
ReplyDelete1. St. John’s Episcopal Church: $6,360
2. Friends & Family of Kimberly Pelusi: $6,299.65
3. UUWannaWalk: $5,906.23
4. DARQ: $2935.77
5. This One’s For You: $2,887
Again, thank you so, so much for everyone who came out with such support and love.
We look forward to seeing you at next year’s Walk~
Save the Date: Sunday, May 6th, 2012 – the 20th Annual Walk for HAWC!
Wow are you a good fiction writer!
ReplyDelete